Have you ever met someone who seems to just instinctively know how to push your buttons? Ever get short with a family member and not realize it until it was too late? Ever avoid clients, coworkers or friends because of anxiety of not knowing what to say?
Friendliness is a skill like any other skill set. Some people have more natural gifts that develop it but anyone can learn or get better at being confidently friendly. Like most behaviors, the skill of being friendly is driven by human emotion and it important to understand a few mental prerequisites to truly improve your fundamental friendliness.
- Self-awareness of your emotions, both good and bad really. What emotions are at the forefront when you are making the effort to not be friendly?
- Knowing what drives your emotions. Science and medicine continue to prove how basics like diet, rest and exercise impact human emotion.
- Cultivate basic habits that induce friendly behavior. Why do you think shaking hands is such an accepted practice? Or practice smiling more often.
Does this mean that you must act like a circus clown all the time or can never have a bad mood? Of course not, it simply means that no matter what your current level of the skill at being friendly, there is room for improvement. The power of friendliness cannot be overstated and there is a lot of truth in the old saying; “You can attract a lot more with honey than you can with vinegar”….lemon bars work real well too.
Here is Jeffrey Gitomer speaking on the power of friendliness